


Sam's choice

by quigui



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 18:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quigui/pseuds/quigui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam looked at Jess in front of him, so young and full of life, just like he remembered her in the few occasions that he allowed himself that luxury. Beautiful, smart, mischievous. She had been his world, had made him believe he could be a normal life and suddenly she had been gone and his life had been uprooted. She had been everything and then, in one moment, there was nothing but revenge.</p><p>There had been nothing but revenge and pain and betrayal since she died.</p><p>"So, what's your answer?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam's choice

Sam looked at Jess in front of him, so young and full of life, just like he remembered her in the few occasions that he allowed himself that luxury. Beautiful, smart, mischievous. She had been his world, had made him believe he could have a normal life and suddenly she had been gone and his life had been uprooted. She had been everything and then, in one moment, there was nothing but revenge.

There had been nothing but revenge and pain and betrayal since she died.

"So, what's your answer?"

Sam knew that it couldn't be Jess in front of him, it was just another demon messing with his head. Just another supernatural being that knew which buttons to push. But it felt so real.

"There is always a catch. What is it this time? My soul? Killing my brother and Castiel? End of the world?"

Jess smiled, just like she used to when he would catch her pulling some prank on him.

"Your body as vessel. Occasionally."

That set off more alarms than anything else ever could. Only angels would use the word _vessel_ , demons preferred to refer to them as meat suits. Only angels would need permission. And there was no way the _occasionally_ would be just that. He had an idea who needed such a vessel, but he would keep his cards close to his chest. "Who for?"

Jess doesn't answer. But Metatron, and Sam should have figured it would be him behind this, appears right next to her.

"Gadreel of course. He enjoyed wearing you very much. So, what is it going to be, Sam? Happily ever after with Jess and allowing Gadreel to make use of your fantastic skills? You'll never even have to deal with whatever he'll be doing, you can just go back to your perfect little life."

"No."

"Are you sure? Just look at her, so perfect, as if no time has passed."

"She's dead." It hurt him to say that, when she was right in front of him. But there was not running from the truth. Jess had burned on the ceiling of their house.

"She could be alive again. I am the new God, after all, I can give life. Wouldn't you like that, dear?" he asked, brushing Jess arm with his finger. It set Sam's nerves on edge to see him touch her like that, like she was his pet.

Jess looked back at him. "I was going to be with you forever. I can be forever with you again. Sam, I still love you. I will always do."

He steeled himself against those words. Jess sounded the same, the same mannerisms, the same smile, he bet she would also smell the same. He wanted nothing more than to bury his hands in her hair, and just kiss her, hold her, have her near. But it had been nine years for him, nine years that didn't show on her. He was struck by how young she had been, how young they both had been when all had started.

"I can take you back too," Metatron added. He had almost forgotten about him. "Back to that November night. You can be your young self again, be with sweet Jessica. There will be no Dean, no Azazel, no supernatural whatsoever."

"And how would you get your vessel then?"

"Just your soul goes back to your 22 year old body. This one stays here. Available for Gadreel."

"So, you are offering for me to possess my own, albeit younger, self? The answer is still no."

"What if you wouldn't remember anything from the past 9 years? No apocalypse, no Lucifer, no Ruby, no demon blood. All that, purged and forgotten. A sin that never happened."

"No."

"Think about it, Sam. You have a shot at being happy. Having a family and a career. Jess can be alive, she can grow old with you, have babies. You would like that, wouldn't you? Can you look at her and say you wouldn't want that?" Metatron taunted.

Sam looked at Jess, dressed in white and so beautiful. She was also waiting for an answer. He didn't know what Metatron had promised her, but he knew his choice.

He stroked her cheek with one hand, trying to not pull her to him. His eyes were stinging, but he wouldn't cry, not with Metatron looming. He looked into her eyes, knowing this would be the last time he would be able to do so.

"I loved you, Jess," he started, voice broken. "I loved you when I was 22 and I still love you now. I will never forget you or stop loving you. But you died and I had to move on. And I did, eventually. And I made a lot of mistakes along the way, and I am sorry. I am sorry I am that person, who makes those kind of mistakes. But I can't, Jess, I can't let him win, and I can't make this one thing, that would be just another mistake to pile on my soul. I would have loved to see you grow old, I would have loved to have shared my life with you. Given time, I might even have told you about hunting. Because sometimes, even after all this time, I still think 'Jess would have liked to see this'. But my answer is no. You died when you shouldn't, and I would gladly die in your place. But I won't destroy the world just to have you back."

Jess smiled, taking his face in both her hands. "I knew you would make the right choice, Sam. You always had such a good heart. You were always good. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There are few that would make better choices than you if they were dealt the same hand. I am proud of you, Sam."

She leaned in to kiss him, her lips barely brushing his, and that was the last thing Metatron allowed before he disappeared taking Jess with him.


End file.
